Respect and Etiquette in India
Religion and rituals
In mosques, churches and temples it is obligatory to take off your shoes. It may also be customary to take off your footwear while entering into homes, follow other people's lead.
- It is disrespectful to touch or point at people with your feet. If done accidentally, you will find that Indians will make a quick gesture of apology that involves touching the offended person with the right hand, and then moving the hand to the chest and to the eyes. It is a good idea to emulate that.
- Books and written material are treated with respect, as they are considered the concrete form of the Hindu Goddess of Learning, Saraswati. So a book should not be touched with the feet and if accidentally touched, the same gesture of apology as is made to people (see above) is performed.
The same goes with currency, or anything associated with wealth (especially gold). They are treated as Goddess Lakshmi (of Wealth) in human form, and ought not to be disrespected. - Avoid winking, whistling, pointing or beckoning with your fingers, and touching someone's ears. All of these are considered rude.
Etiquette - Any give or take of anything important should be done with the right hand only. This includes giving and taking of presents, and any transfer of a large amount of money.
Travellers should be aware of the fact that Indians generally dress conservatively and should do the same. Shorts, short skirts (knee-length or above) and sleeveless shirts are not appropriate off the beach. Cover as much skin as possible. Both men and women should keep their shoulders covered. Women should wear baggy clothes that do not emphasize their contours. However, if you move to metropolitan cities, there is much more liberalism of wearing western outfits and skimpy clothes though still they may become a centre of stare from men. But they should avoid moving alone at night. - Keep in mind that Indians will consider themselves obliged to go out of the way to fulfill a guest's request and will insist very strongly that it is no inconvenience to do so, even if it is not true. This of course means that there is a reciprocal obligation on you as a guest to take extra care not to be a burden.
- It is customary to put up a token friendly argument with your host or any other member of the group when paying bills at restaurant or while making purchases. The etiquette for this is somewhat complicated.
- In a business lunch or dinner, it is usually clear upfront who is supposed to pay, and there is no need to fight. But if you are someone's personal guest and they take you out to a restaurant, you should offer to pay anyway, and you should insist a lot. Sometimes these fights get a little funny, with each side trying to snatch the bill away from the other, all the time laughing politely. If you don't have experience in these things, chances are, you will lose the chance the first time, but in that case, make sure that you pay the next time. (and try to make sure that there is a next time.) Unless the bill amount is very large do not offer to share it, and only as a second resort after they have refused to let you pay it all.
- The same rule applies when you are making a purchase. If you are purchasing something for yourself, your hosts might still offer to pay for it if the amount is not very high, and sometimes, even if it is. In this situation, unless the amount is very low, you should never lose the fight. (If the amount is in fact ridiculously low, say less than 10 rupees, then don't insult your hosts by putting up a fight.) Even if by chance you lose the fight to pay the shopkeeper, it is customary to practically thrust (in a nice way, of course) the money into your host's hands.
- These rules do not apply if the host has made it clear beforehand that it is his or her treat, especially for some specific occasion.
Sensitive topics - Pakistan is a sensitive subject about which many Indians will have strong views. Avoid getting into a conversation about the whole issue. It's fine to have a chat about your visit to Pakistan, the people, Indo-Pak cricket matches etc. Just don't discuss politics.
- India shows tremendous religious diversity, and most people encounter it at street level. While some Indians are deeply religious in their personal lives, others don't have any time for religion. Respect local customs. India is a secular country and while communal riots have occurred, the overwhelming majority of Indians are fed up of religion-based politics and live in peace with people of other religious communities. Indians may not be as politically correct as people from the west, but are probably more secular in their outlook. While in public, do not criticize the Hindu fundamentalist parties (though their influence is low). Don't make anti-Islamic comments, discuss terrorism and Islam or things of the kind (Even though you may encounter some Hindu families openly expressing their prejudices when just among themselves).
- As a matter of rule for foreigners, try not to be judgmental about any Indian political controversy in front of your hosts without understanding their points of view. India has a multi-party democracy with a wide variety of people and their opinions also vary vastly in form and strength. It would be a good idea to refrain from adding more confusion to it. Indians would usually cooperate if you politely request them to stop a conversation on religion or politics that hurts your sentiments.
- Be cautious when discussing the Caste system, since Western viewpoints on this topic are often antiquated or inadequate (or both). Measures aimed at reparation (some of which pre-date parallel reforms in the Western world such as the Civil Rights Act of the United States) have met with varying success.
- Cricket is a national obsession in India; so don't say anything against the Indian cricket team or the sport in general. Do not draw comparisons to baseball; most Indians haven't even heard of it, and the few that do perceive it to be a highly dumbed-down version of cricket.
